Hurricane
by raybun
Summary: You're the finest thing that I've done, the hurricane I'll never outrun. I could wait around for the dust to still, but I don't believe that it ever will. AkuRoku oneshot.


**A/N: **Hello everyone! I was listening to my iTunes playlist as I do, and Hurricane (by the Hush Sound) came on, and I started imagining how it could be applicable to a KH pairing. I decided it had to be AkuRoku because it wasn't fluffy enough for SoRiku and it didn't quite fit the Zemyx feel or really any other pairing that well. So here it is! I hope you enjoy it!

Kingdom Hearts © Disney and Enix

Hurricane © The Hush Sound

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><p><strong>Hurricane<strong>

_Send out the morning birds to sing of the damage_

Chirping birds sang loudly outside in their homes in the trees calling good morning to the world. Mother birds pushed their babies out of their nest with the hope that they would spread their wings and soar. It was a risk that every bird had to take in their life and there was no choice. Well, there was a certain choice involved, but most birds chose to take it. Otherwise, they'd be stuck on the ground after they smacked into it and they'd never find happiness on the ground.

It was much the same with love, Roxas had mused on more than one occasion. People took a risk and jumped (well, more like fell) in the hopes that someone would catch them. The choice was very similar to the birds', although less vital. Roxas thought of the topic very cynically. There was no reason for anyone to risk it. Humans weren't birds learning to fly. Sex was enough to satisfy that need of being wanted. His cynicism was a bit ironic, though, seeing as he was struggling to hold up his partner, even dropping him sometimes (most of the time).

Roxas finally opened his eyes from the bad night's sleep he had gotten. He wiped away the crusts that struggled to keep his eyes closed. There was no sound, but that wasn't surprising. This happened to often for it to be surprising. His vision cleared finally and he found that he was looking at a wall. There was heat radiating from a body lying next to him. He turned to face the person slowly and found the man he was entangled in the sheets with. The man was turned away from him, and Roxas was partially glad for that. He wanted to forget the man's face. He pretty much already had.

_Now that the calm's returned, I know I can't manage__  
><em>

Tears were in Roxas' eyes suddenly, and a hollow feeling entered him. He clutched at his stomach as if that could prevent the decaying of his insides in favor of horrid, horrid feelings. Silently, he sobbed into his hands, curling up into a ball. He made sure he was quiet enough that he wouldn't disturb the man sleeping beside him. He'd gotten plenty of practice, so it was second nature to him.

Evil, malicious thoughts filled his mind. He tormented himself. It was easy. Really, it was almost too easy. First he would always scold himself saying that he knew better. He would get in trouble for this. Then he would agree with the lecture and say that he was a terrible, terrible person. An angel on the outside and a monster on the inside. He would tell himself that he was a slut and that his mother would be ashamed of him if she knew what he was doing. He told himself he didn't deserve anyone and no one deserved to suffer because of him.

Finally, the tears stopped. Still, Roxas remained in a ball.

_You're standing in my doorway, though he's asleep in my bed__  
><em>

A sound broke Roxas out of his sleeping state, and he twisted around to face the door. He saw a flash of red at first and then his eyes locked with drained, green eyes. These eyes used to be the color of lush grass. Now, because of him, they were the color of decaying moss. Hurt was prevalent in these fading eyes.

"Axel," he whispered.

The once-fiery redhead just looked at him and said nothing. He didn't need to. His face said it all. 'Again, Roxas…?' His frown creased his pale skin that had once held the color of life. 'Roxas, why are you doing this to me?' Wrinkles in his once-flawless face were beginning to set in permanently. 'I guess you don't care anymore.'

_The steady murmur, always in my head...__  
><em>

A shriek started to form in Roxas' stomach, but it died before it even reached his throat. If he kept it inside, he would never have to admit how horrible he felt about all of this. He could just continue on being an unreliable, backstabbing, untrustworthy jerk that no one should ever love. The only flaw with his plan was that Axel still loved him. Nothing he said or did could get the redhead away. Nothing made Axel see that Roxas was a horrible person. That was probably what hurt the most.

Axel was gone from the doorway as quickly as he had come. Even though he was gone, and even though he hadn't said a word, his voice resounded throughout every fiber of Roxas' being. One day, about three years ago, when Roxas started doing these things, Axel forgave him every time. He would make love to the blond despite the pain he had begun to cause. After a particularly gentle round in bed, Axel held Roxas close, flush against his bare chest, so that Roxas' face was buried in the crook of his neck and his hair tickled the redhead's chin. He whispered to his promiscuous lover, 'I'm your fucking puppy. I love you.'

It always broke Roxas' heart into tinier pieces than it already was.

_You're the finest thing that I've done, the hurricane I'll never outrun__  
><em>

Since that day, Roxas had desperately tried to move. He needed to get out of Axel's life for the both of them. He couldn't bear to hurt Axel anymore, but he couldn't bite the bullet and get the help he so desperately needed to cure himself of his promiscuous disease. His only option was to run.

That never worked.

No matter how far he went, from California to Arkansas to Canada to fucking London, Axel always found him. He always tracked him within a matter of weeks. He always came back and let his tail droop behind him as he submitted himself to his malicious master. He offered his obedient, loving self to Roxas without ever asking for anything in return. He was the best human being Roxas had ever met in his life, which made him feel all the worse for putting him through all this shit.

_I could wait around for the dust to still, but I don't believe that it ever will.__  
><em>

Whenever Roxas finally tried to settle in and stay somewhere for a while with Axel, it never worked out. It really sucked. He would finally, _finally_ agree to attempt their relationship again. He would try to be a good boyfriend and make Axel dinner and help around the house and work for their food and kiss and have sex with him. He put his heart into trying to fix the problem. He didn't want to admit that he couldn't fix it on his own with just Axel. So his addiction to sex drove him wild. He slept around and felt worse and worse until it all built up and he had to leave.

_And since the roof fell in, I'll lean on what matters__  
><em>

From the time Roxas had developed an addiction to sex, he tried to channel it all into Axel. One person couldn't contain it all, though. He couldn't exhaust the one person he loved in his life to the point of fainting spells just so that he could have a fix. He hated asking Axel for another round when they'd already had three in a row and the redhead was slumped into the bed panting, his penis as flaccid as soggy bread.

The very first time he cheated, Roxas felt no remorse. He felt _good_ about it, even. Like he was doing Axel a favor. When Axel found out, he felt horrible, and swore never to cheat again… But the addiction had already grown and he couldn't stop himself. He cheated again and again. Axel kept catching him, and eventually, Roxas stopped trying to hide it. That made things worse because Axel loved him too much to call it quits even though Roxas couldn't end the vicious cycle he had created himself.

_Caught in the slightest wind, everything else unravels__  
><em>

One time, after Axel had found Roxas after he'd moved to another city, he decided he would just quit sex cold turkey. He refused to even let Axel touch him, knowing that it would draw him back into his messed up world. Axel was all for it, even though he was a little upset. He wanted to try to help his beloved boyfriend any way that he could, even if he had to make a sacrifice. So they quit having sex.

Unfortunately for Roxas, the craving simply grew as the days dragged on. By the third day, he accidentally happened upon Axel in the shower. He quickly left, but the imprint was stuck in his head. It plagued him until he caught Axel masturbating a few days later. That was when shit went downhill again. Roxas had to join him, he just _had _to. Axel was too overtaken with passion to refuse the gorgeous boy. They had sex and Roxas easily got addicted once more.

Roxas left after his new sex-scapades started up again.

_You're standing in my doorway seven cities ago__  
><em>

So caught up in moving around so often, time passed without Roxas noticing. He didn't realize how much of a different person he was now. His heart was so broken, there was nothing left to break. As he packed his bags again, the man still asleep in his bed, he wondered where he should go next, not really thinking about the now. He only thought about the now when he was having sex, and even then, he was thinking more about the then. His routine blinded him from the now. It was always the then and the next. He never stopped to think what he felt, what he wanted _now_.

He tried to move to Ireland this time, but he couldn't get into the country, so he went back to America, where he still had full citizenship. There, Roxas found a shitty one-bedroom apartment in Hurlock, Maryland. He moved in easily. Through his travelling days, he'd kept his amount of furniture and possessions to a minimum. It was very easy to move when he only had to bring with him a bed, a couch, a TV, and a kitchen set. Everything else he wanted to bring had to fit into two large suitcases and a backpack.

It was a little sad, because if he'd paid attention to the now a little more, he'd realize that he didn't crave sex as much as he used to anymore. It was about seven cities ago when he'd fallen in love with Axel at full force after a round of sex with someone he didn't know. He'd slept with the man only because he looked like Axel. He didn't even want to sleep with other people anymore. So caught up with the past, he didn't realize that he wasn't that person anymore. He didn't realize that he was finally satisfied.

_The days are racing, but you come back too slow...__  
><em>

He wasn't sure when exactly he noticed, but as he slept with more guys, Roxas realized that he was just waiting for Axel to show up. He was taking an awfully long time… Usually Axel would have shown up by now. He had already lived in Hurlock for about two months. Why was the redhead taking so long? Roxas wanted to see him, to hold him, to apologize and promise for real to be better this time. He convinced himself that since Hurlock was such a small town that Axel was having a tough time tracking him down. It wasn't completely unbelievable.

An entire year went by, and no Axel. No Axel after an entire year.

Finally, after all this time, Roxas decided to go looking for Axel. He went to a library so that he could use a computer with internet and looked up Axel on facebook, deciding that would probably be the best place to start looking. He never got further than that, however. All over the redhead's wall, tons of posts were plastered there, all saying R.I.P.

Panic shot throughout Roxas' being. He searched online for obituaries. Finally, he found Axel's name. He died of Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, which was a fancy name for broken heart syndrome. It's a type of heart disease in which the heart weakens because of very heavy emotional stress. Roxas felt his insides collapsing. He had caused this.

_You're the finest thing that I've done, the hurricane I'll never outrun__  
><em>

In the next few weeks, Roxas moved back to his hometown so that he could pay his respects to Axel's parents, even though he knew they would hate him for doing this to their son. His suspicions were true because Axel's parents didn't want to talk to him. Rejected, Roxas went to the cemetery where his beloved was buried six feet under. He left roses for Axel and went home after a long, soulful chat with his tombstone.

Even though the redhead was gone, his voice still emanated throughout Roxas' head. Only this time, it wasn't just a single line. Axel's voice commented daily on the things Roxas did and it encouraged the blond to stop having sex with anyone. It was already too late, but he decided he would save himself until the time he died for Axel.

_I could wait around for the dust to still, but I don't believe that it ever will._

Roxas tried to settle down back in his hometown in homage of Axel, but he couldn't. He found himself drawn to Axel's grave at strange hours of the day, weeping over the only person who ever loved him. He had to move away, taking with him a framed picture of him and Axel when they were still in high school and had just started dating.

He tried to move back to their hometown on multiple occasions for Axel. He didn't want to be too far from his grave. The picture he now treasured more than life, it always remained with him. Finally, Axel's voice begged Roxas to come be with him. The picture tugged at his heart strings. He realized that no matter how much time had passed, he would never get over Axel. He would never want to live his own life again.

No one at all in the small town Roxas and Axel had grown up in was surprised when they found Roxas dead on top of Axel's grave, a bullet hole in his head. They had always known that Roxas loved Axel more than life itself.

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><p><strong>AN: **I was thinking about making a series of songfics with a buncha different pairings, but I'm not completely sure about it. If I did, this fic would remain a one shot standalone piece, and I would create a completely new story for the song fic series. Based on how I executed this song, any thoughts on it?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! Please review~!


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